Ironic Millennial Bottle – I Used to Be Goth | 17oz White Stainless Steel

Ironic Millennial Bottle – I Used to Be Goth | 17oz White Stainless Steel

Once, you stayed hydrated with gas station energy drinks and sheer spite. Now? It’s ice-cold water while pretending to care about the fourth soccer game of the weekend. But just because your weekends are less mosh pit and more folding chair, doesn’t mean you’ve lost your edge.

Our “I Used to Be Goth” stainless steel water bottle keeps your drinks chilled—and your deadpan attitude alive. Because these days, hydration is the dark art that keeps you going.

Why You’ll Love It:

Double-Wall Insulation: Keeps drinks cold (or hot) for 6 hours. Just like your heart—unaffected by external temperatures.
Sleek & Portable Design: Slim profile and elongated neck make it easy to carry—because your hands are full (literally and emotionally).

Leak-Proof Cap: Seals tight, even when your life doesn’t.

Durable Stainless Steel: Built to survive chaotic schedules, clumsy kids, and your low tolerance for nonsense.

Where to Take It:

• Sidelines where you’re dressed in all black and slightly over it

• Gym sessions where your playlist is 80% The Cure, 20% guilt

• Road trips where the only thing colder than your drink is your patience

Hydrate like the emotionally stable adult you pretend to be. Because even if your wardrobe’s more practical now, your soul’s still wearing combat boots.

*Products shipped within the United States typically arrive within 4-6 business days.